The Tracey Dating Dictionary. A to Z of Red Flags in Boxers. By MissT. Let’s be honest—dating in your 50s isn’t for the faint-hearted.It’s a full-contact sport in emotional armour, and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up knee-deep in man-children who send selfies in boxers and call it flirting. So I’ve compiled this: An A to Z of every red flag I’ve met, dodged, deleted, or blocked in my adventures.It’s sharp. It’s scathing. It’s mine. And if you’re reading this thinking “same”—you’re not alone. You’re just not the only woman who’s tired of dodging men who think “wyd?” is a personality.• A – Abs – Often shown off by men who don’t have a single emotional one. *Warning: may be ripped physically and empty spiritually. *•B – Boxers – Frequently worn in unsolicited mirror selfies. *If he starts in boxers, he usually ends up blocked. *•C – Clingy – Day one: “Good morning, babe.” Day two: “Where were you at 10:36 a.m.?” Day three: *red flag smothered in neediness. *•D – Darren – The man who seemed emotionally available… until sex entered the chat. *Felt deep. Wasn’t. *•E – Eyes – If he says “your eyes are hypnotic” in the first three lines—he’s either a poet or a problem. Usually both.• *F – Fleur – Your poetic alter ego when Jethro-Rob decides he’s Lord Byron on a burner phone.• *G – Ghosting – When a man disappears because you asked something terrifying like: “What are you looking for?” •H – Hot Air – What they’re full of when they talk a big emotional game and vanish when you need actual effort. •I – I’m Not Like Other Guys – He is. Trust me. And worse, he knows it. •J – Jethro – Rob’s real-life doppelgänger. Smelled like yesterday’s pub and texted like a Brontë brother. •K – Kettles – You’ve boiled more for men than they ever did for themselves. •L – Luis – The mushroom man. Soft, spiritual, not ready. The first man who didn’t harm you… but couldn’t hold you either. •M – Muscles – A lovely bonus. Not a substitute for personality, basic hygiene, or a bin schedule. •N – Not That Bad – A lie we tell ourselves when we’re staring at dog shit on the carpet and calling it devotion. *O – Older Woman Fetish – “I like mature women.” Translation: *“I have mother issues and no idea what intimacy actually is. ”*•P – PJ – If narcissism were a perfume, he wore it daily. The emotional car crash you barely crawled away from. *Q – “Quite a Catch” – Usually said by men who can’t spell “their.” •R – Red Tracksuit – You knew the second he showed up in that tracksuit that he was going to fade like his colour coordination. •S – Silence – What they give you when they know you’ve seen through them. •T – Tom – Word count: 4,000. Depth: 4cm. Ghosted after paragraph one of his own essay. •U – Unavailable – Emotionally, mentally, spiritually. But always available for 11 p.m. “wyd” texts. •V – Voice Notes – Used wisely by you. Used poorly by men who don’t understand pacing, punctuation, or point. •W – Weekend Dating – Like Rob. Around on Fridays, gone by Sunday. Love you at 9 p.m. Hate commitment by Monday. •X – “x” at the end of a message – If it’s the only form of affection he offers… bin him. •Y – You Up? – Blocked. •Z – Zero Effort – What you’re no longer accepting. Not in texts. Not in love. Not in life. MissT’s Final Word: Dating isn’t hopeless—but it’s full of hazards. So consider this your field guide. And if you see your ex in here? That’s not coincidence. That’s confirmation.You’re the prize. They’re the paragraph.Come for the sass. Stay for the sanity. Read more at divorceddamagedanddangerous.wordpress.com Honourable Mentions – The Ones Who Tried (Barely) •Ripples – The Viewer with No Voice , Viewed my profile 26 times like it was a sacred scroll he didn’t dare touch. Silent. Curious. Consistently cowardly. *Mate, this isn’t ASMR—it’s dating. Speak up or scroll on. *•Daz (Again) – The Man Who Thought “Not 14” Was a Compliment, Emotionally still eating Lunchables. Asked me what I was up to like I was going to say. “I’m adopting you.”• *Tom – Essay Writer, Emotional Quitter. Wrote me a novel. Ghosted by Chapter One. If you can type 4,000 words but can’t send a good morning text—please unlearn writing. •PT Pete – Gym Fit, Soul Unfit, Said he liked “older women” as if I were a vintage car and he was kicking the tyres. Wanted fun. I wanted *quiet peace and adult cutlery.* Mismatch. Next. •Jethro Rob – Poet by Weekend, Ghost by Monday. Still somewhere in Cornwall writing rhymes about a woman he never deserved. Hope he’s well. Hope he’s moisturised. Hope he’s stopped texting women like it’s 1782.