You Never Had Me

(Today’s events)

He was always there—lurking like a shadow that refused to fade. Every time I dipped a toe back into the dating world, his name appeared. Familiar. Predictable. Married.

He never changed his profile picture. Never changed his status. Just floated there like a ghost in the machine, waiting. Reaching out with the same tired lines:
“How are you?”
“You look amazing.”
“We should finally meet.”

As if I didn’t remember the context. As if I didn’t recall the wife he had at home. As if I could forget that he had been emotionally and physically unfaithful for years—and wore it like a second skin.

Every time, I ignored it. Brushed it off. Gave the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he was confused. Maybe he was stuck in something hard.

But recently, I saw it for what it truly was: manipulation dressed as charm. A man addicted to the idea of being wanted, without any intention of doing the work to earn that desire honestly.

And this time, I didn’t hold back. I sent the message I should’ve sent long ago:

“I would never trust a man like you. You’ve been on here for years. Imagine dating a man knowing he’s been unfaithful to his wife emotionally, physically, for years. You checked out years ago, mate. You’re drifting.”

And just like that—he went silent.

It wasn’t guilt. It was exposure. He didn’t disappear because he finally felt remorse. He vanished because I broke the illusion. Because I wasn’t playing the game. Because I saw through him, and worse—for him—I told him so.

Men like that don’t want love. They want escape. They want someone to reflect back a fantasy where they’re still desirable, still exciting, still in control. But I am not a mirror for your ego. I am not your secret, your thrill, your “maybe someday.”

I am a woman who knows her worth. Who has spent time stitching herself back together. Who has no space left for men who live with one foot out the door.

So go quiet. Disappear. Stay in the shadows where you belong.

You never had me.
And you never will.