Where are you? (Poem)

“I Want the Off-the-Grid Kind of Man”
I’m looking for a man with no Facebook, no Insta, no Snapchat streaks, no clingy exes, no “she’s like a sister” girls hanging around, and definitely no secret situationships lurking in the shadows.

In fact, let’s take it all the way—no phone either.
I want a man living like he’s in witness protection, but somehow still knows how to show up and love me out loud. Loud enough that I don’t need to second guess where I stand, ever.

Because these men today? Whew.
Social media rosters longer than the Premier League season, and a “she’s just a friend” line ready before you even finish the question.
Every notification got me side-eyeing like, Is that your mum or one of the usual suspects sliding in with a heart emoji at 2am?

I’m not competing with girls in filters and lingerie while I’m sat right next to him in my bonnet, munching hot chips, minding my business.
I want a man who’s unbothered by apps, followers, or female “friends” he used to cuddle. Just a man who wants peace, not popularity.

Give me someone who isn’t halfway tied to five different pasts and “it’s complicated” memories.
Give me someone who’s unreachable in the most peaceful way.
No drama, no noise, no hidden inboxes. Just him, his loyalty, and maybe—maybe—a brick phone with two saved numbers: me and his mother.

I’m not asking for too much. I’m asking for quiet, for clarity, and for love that’s not shared with the algorithm.